This blog is usually about property, landlord stuff, money and a little bit of politics (as Ben Elton used to say). But I’ve written this because I am so disgusted as the way British people are increasingly becoming enslaved to US culture …and why!?
Hey! Can I get some cookies to go?
Or, translated into proper English this means ‘Have you got any biscuits to take away?’
Yes, this is of course a curmudgeonly attack on the way British Culture is being increasingly usurped by American Culture! I have never understood why a great people like the British should be so in awe of a country in which millions go without health care and even middle class people can be bankrupted by chronic illness. A country in which any crazed idiot can buy a machine gun and walk into a school and blow away a group of children and a country of 300 million plus people whose only choice of leader was Hilary Clinton or Donald Trump.
So why does America hold most of the world in its thrall? Firstly, although America may be full of many stupid people, it’s also home to some of the greatest tech and business minds on the planet. People like Jeff Bezos, Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, Elon Musk and of course Bill Gates and institutions like NASA (which IS rocket science). Secondly, there’s that institution called Hollywood that spreads the message of American Culture like a virus worldwide. And Hollywood produces MOVIES not FILMS remember.
But surely it is the British of all the peoples in the world, that seem to swallow American Culture whole. And it has to be said that young people seem to be the worst offenders.
Here are just a few examples of recent American hegemony over British Culture.
This annoying nonsense suddenly arrived on our shores several years ago. I think Asda (or Walmart) were to blame. Of course, rather than having to put up with it for just one day, Black Friday seems to last a month of Sundays, which is an old 19th century English phrase.
This comes after Black Friday, after everyone is exhausted buying stuff they neither wanted nor needed and involves lots of people tapping furiously at screens and giving their mice a hard time.
Trick or Treat!
As little as 20 years ago or so this bloody awful American import had yet to reach our shores. Yes, we always used to mark Halloween but we didn’t have to put up with marauding bands of young teenagers terrorising neighbourhoods and demanding money with menaces.
Hey! You guys coming’ to my Baby Shower?
Yet another ghastly American import, where Moms (note the spelling) To Be, invite their hapless friends to a party to celebrate an expected birth of a new baby and also expect them to be bearing gifts.
Closets instead of Cupboards
Why can’t gay people just ‘come out of the cupboard’? Why must they always hide ‘in a closet’?
‘Can I get a skinny latte to go’?
I don’t know! Can you? If you come round behind the counter and make it yourself then the answer is probably yes.
So now we ‘fill out’ forms instead of filling them in. We pronounce ‘Privacy’ as Pryvacy. Many people eat ‘cookies’ instead of biscuits, though I suppose that’s just the way the biscuit crumbles. I’d love all these expressions to be consigned to the Rubbish Bin of History, except of course they’d just be ‘put out with the trash’
The Great Plague of Uptalking
Some people claim the Aussies are to blame for this but I believe it was the girls in the San Fernando Valley in California. Of all the recent Americanisations that I hate the most, it must be the horrendous habit of UPTALKING! Or as I would call it ‘Talking like Valley Girl’. This arrived like the Great Plague in this country about 15 years ago and was spread mainly by young people. If you’re not sure what I mean? It’s people going up at the end when they talk? It’s like every statement ends with question mark? It’s so annoying? And it gives the impression that those people are unsure of what they are saying?
But now that plague has spread to older people? In an effort to be ‘down with the kidz’ they are also increasingly adopting this way of speaking? In fact, I find it almost impossible to listen to people up-talking, even if what they are saying is interesting?
That’s it – I’ll stop the up-talking now because I’m actually annoying myself and simply conclude thus. Just because America is indeed the home of some genius people and some great music does not mean that a great nation like Britain should swallow whole every bit of crap culture they offer us.
Thank you and Goodnight!
James Stretten – Mr Angry of Maidenhead