Monthly Archives: June 2017

Theresa May to meet Arlene Phillips at No 10?

image of Theresa May dancing with Nick Timothy

Could Theresa and Nick be a hit on Strictly Come Dancing?

I was watching Sky News a couple of days ago and one of their reporters was doing a live report to camera outside No 10 Downing Street.  She actually announced that Theresa May was due to meet Arlene Phillips at No 10 on Tuesday.

Was this a mis-speak, as I assumed at the time…or was it actually true?

I know that Arlene Phillips is not the leader of the DUP, and is probably not a creationist or anti-gay in any way, but there were rumours last year of Arlene returning to Strictly Come Dancing.

Ed Balls does Gangnam Style

Here’s the thing. There’s quite a glittering record of failed politicians getting on Strictly.  The blonde Anne Widdecombe did it, although admittedly she showed she was no Ginger Rodgers. And we all know how ex-shadow Chancellor Ed Balls turned a political disaster of a career into a huge success on Strictly Come Dancing. I was particularly impressed with his Gangnam Style dance with his glamorous partner Katya Jones.

image of Arlene Phillips endorsing Charles Darwin

Arlene Phillips (NOT Arlene Foster)

Could Strictly save Theresa May and Nick Timothy?

So could Theresa be thinking the same way?  Will she follow in the nimble footsteps of Ed Balls? Could Strictly Come Dancing be her saviour too? She is going to need some pretty nimble political footwork to get herself out of the mess she’s got herself and us into, so maybe she could imitate Ed and also be a great success in sequins on the dance floor?

And of course, now her equally useless advisor, Nick Timothy has lost his job, maybe he could also join Strictly Come Dancing?

Evidence mounts

There are various other pieces of evidence that she may be planning an eventual move into ballroom dancing.  Politically she has always been very good at dancing on the head of a pin and she has done some very nifty about-turns in her career as Home Secretary and latterly PM. Her love of shoes is legendary – apparently she wore 17 different pairs during the campaign, whilst dowdy Corbyn only wore one pair.  And Theresa May certainly likes her clothes – surely one of our most stylish PMs?

Vote – not ANOTHER election!

So, should Theresa meet Arlene Phillips and give Strictly a go? Yes or No (this question is NOT suitable for the politicians amongst you). See our Poll below…

James Stretten

 

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[yop_poll id=”3″]

What sort of Brexit do YOU want?

photo of Theresa May

Theresa May

photo of Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn

 

So, what sort of Brexit do YOU want? Do you want a Hard Brexit? Do you want a Soft Brexit? What about a Soft and Cuddly Brexit, or perhaps a Thin and Crispy Brexit?

A Warm and Soothing Brexit

We now have a situation where even prominent politicians are talking non-stop nonsense about what sort of Brexit we should have.  Usually on the left they seem to be demanding a Warm and Soothing Brexit – rather like a nice cup of Horlicks that Jeremy Corbyn would have to help him wind down after a hard day’s politicking about how he intends to spend other people’s money.

Any Answers Bleaters

Certainly if you listen to irrepressibly middle class middle-Englanders on Radio 4’s Any Answers, most of them seem to be calling for a Kind and Soothing Brexit where a Lovely European Brexit Omelette gets made without cracking anybody’s free-range eggs.  Wouldn’t it be luverly?

Hard or Soft Brexit? – it’s all nonsense

On the right we often hear demands for a Hard Brexit or maybe even a Vindictive and Vicious one.  Or even a Sod Off Johnny Foreigner Brexit.

But it’s all puerile nonsense!  The reality is less exciting.

We are going into a NEGOTIATION.  And in a negotiation each side seeks to get the best deal they can wring out of the other side.  All I can say is that I’d love to sell my car to one of these people bleating about ‘Soft Brexit’.  They say that under no circumstances should we go into the negotiations saying things like ‘no deal is better than a bad deal’. I know that’s a phrase made famous by that massive Looser May, but I still think it’s the right thing to SAY.

Selling a used car to the ‘Soft Brexiteers’

So I would advertise my car for way over its market value for say £14000.  These kinds of people would turn up, start kicking the tyres and, having told me ‘a bad deal IS better than no deal’, would offer me £10500.  I’d say NO, I want £14000.  They’d then perhaps offer £12900 and I’d still say NO, I want £14000.  And eventually I’d get £14000.

A great deal for me but a shitty one for them!

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