So, what sort of Brexit do YOU want? Do you want a Hard Brexit? Do you want a Soft Brexit? What about a Soft and Cuddly Brexit, or perhaps a Thin and Crispy Brexit?
A Warm and Soothing Brexit
We now have a situation where even prominent politicians are talking non-stop nonsense about what sort of Brexit we should have. Usually on the left they seem to be demanding a Warm and Soothing Brexit – rather like a nice cup of Horlicks that Jeremy Corbyn would have to help him wind down after a hard day’s politicking about how he intends to spend other people’s money.
Any Answers Bleaters
Certainly if you listen to irrepressibly middle class middle-Englanders on Radio 4’s Any Answers, most of them seem to be calling for a Kind and Soothing Brexit where a Lovely European Brexit Omelette gets made without cracking anybody’s free-range eggs. Wouldn’t it be luverly?
Hard or Soft Brexit? – it’s all nonsense
On the right we often hear demands for a Hard Brexit or maybe even a Vindictive and Vicious one. Or even a Sod Off Johnny Foreigner Brexit.
But it’s all puerile nonsense! The reality is less exciting.
We are going into a NEGOTIATION. And in a negotiation each side seeks to get the best deal they can wring out of the other side. All I can say is that I’d love to sell my car to one of these people bleating about ‘Soft Brexit’. They say that under no circumstances should we go into the negotiations saying things like ‘no deal is better than a bad deal’. I know that’s a phrase made famous by that massive Looser May, but I still think it’s the right thing to SAY.
Selling a used car to the ‘Soft Brexiteers’
So I would advertise my car for way over its market value for say £14000. These kinds of people would turn up, start kicking the tyres and, having told me ‘a bad deal IS better than no deal’, would offer me £10500. I’d say NO, I want £14000. They’d then perhaps offer £12900 and I’d still say NO, I want £14000. And eventually I’d get £14000.
A great deal for me but a shitty one for them!
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